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01 Nov 2011

Divorce Recovery and Coping with Separation

01 Nov 2011

Having trouble moving on from your last relationship?
Obsessed with what your ex is doing?
Find yourself stewing over past conversations and happenings that make you feel bad?
Living with regrets and wondering how you might have done things differently?

Recovering from divorce and marriage separation can be one of the toughest challenges you can face. Here you stand after so many years. You tried to make this relationship work but just couldn’t hold it together.

It started out wonderfully. There was much love, much hope, much support. But gradually it broke down and didn’t turn out the way you thought it would. A sense of failure sets in. You remember how you stood in front of all those wedding guests promising “till death do us part”… Oh dear. The perfect way to feel like a fool is to shout from the rooftops your hopes and dreams, then have to face those people again and admit the dream is dashed.

When it happened to me, so many times did I hear “but I thought you guys were the perfect couple”. How does that make me feel? Like a fraud. And I’m not a fraud! What an awful thing to be accused of. I didn’t pretend to be happy and then secretly turn into a monster or a manic depressive behind closed doors. I did my best.

Maybe you’ve had said to you “I knew you should never have married that idiot. You’re better off without them.” Wow, these “supporters” of ours just can’t find the words that feel good, can they? We did choose that partner. We wore our heart on our sleeve for them and made the committment. A comment like this, again meaning to be comforting, just feels like an insult somehow.

What if your spouse has found someone else? That really feels like hell on earth. Here they are moving on, feeling good again, looking happy and here we are still buried in a hole, alone. In fact, let’s just dig a little deeper. The sun doesn’t feel so good on our face any more.

Have you ever felt this way? Are you feeling it now? Tough isn’t it? No fun at all. Sometimes well meaning friends and family have wise, consolatory words to offer but it still feels like a good theory that we can’t find a way to put into practice.

If you feel you’ve tried everything to get over this divorce or marriage separation and can’t find the solution, consider a professional Life Coach. With coaching we pull you out of that hole you’ve dug, place you back in the sun and turn you to face the future. Yes, there may be some insight you can glean from looking behind you, but mostly you just gather regrets and feel awful.
The Future is where it’s at!

I think it’s a better idea to treat marriage seperation like a cicada treats it’s skin. It was beautiful and shiny when it was new. It made you look gorgeous! You were bronzed and stunning. It suited you and you have got a lot more positive stuff from it than you’d care to admit right now. But as the years went on that beautiful skin got rather beaten up, scratched, worn down.

With Life coaching you can shed that skin and start anew. Your professional Coach can offer a more objective view than a friend or family member can. They’re not caught up in the details of your life so can give you a broader perspective of where you stand and help you find your dreams again. Once you start moving, you’ll feel better instantly. Yes, there will be waves in the road, a few rocky bits initially, but with the support of your Life coach you’ll be on your way to a happier, smoother life that will have you shining in a new skin again in no time at all.

More information on personal life coaching.

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