24 Sep 2012

What attracts men or women?

24 Sep 2012

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Have you ever wondered why some men and women are attractive and others are not? It seems to have little to do with how “good looking” they are.

Sometimes you can be drawn to someone who is absolutely gorgeous and within a few minutes of observing you find they are somehow hollow or boring. You demote them to being simple Eye Candy.

Others are quite ordinary looking and yet they exude the X-factor, are never short of new people to talk to and have perfect strangers yearning to be with them.

So what is it that gives them their attractiveness?

In a conversation with medium Sarah Biermann last week, she felt attractiveness comes when a person is fulfilling their life purpose. When they are completely happy doing what they do, their life force expands and grows. Like a light glowing inside them shining brightly.

Though we can’t physically see the light we are drawn to it like moths to a candle.

She feels this is often why children are molested. When an adult who doesn’t feel so good comes across a child with a full bright life force, they want a piece of it. They are attracted to it and, when they start to feel good, they tend to get aroused.

It makes sense when you look at creative careers too (which is much more a topic to my liking). This is often when you choose a career for love rather than money.

Sure, you’ll get sports celebrities, successful actors, directors and musicians who draw crowds because of their money, power, fame etc. But even the most humble musician, singer, actor, dancer, writer attracts others when they are performing or writing without the limitations of stress, doubts or self consciousness – just for the pure joy of it.

When you’re doing what you love to fully express yourself or to make others feel better, your life force flows strongly. Anyone nearby will notice it and you’ll get a variety of reactions.

Some will be jealous because they are not letting their own life force flow.

Some will be suspicious or feel guilty about the fact you are attracting them which is against their social morals.

Most however, will want to be near you, watch you, listen to you because you make them feel better. You raise their own vibe which can shift their focus away from their worries and doubts. It will also inspire them to find their own higher purpose “work”… and to feel sexy.

So when I work as a Business and Life Coach to help you get your mojo back, this is what it’s all about. It’s not a makeover – new haircut and wardrobe. It’s about finding the career that you most love. It’s about making your life match who you truly are, not matching the expectations of others. It’s about reducing your stress and your worries, helping you get on with people better and letting life flow for you.

When you are fully flowing and your light is shining brightly, just watch those moths gather!

Interested in getting your career mojo back? Read more about One to One coaching with Kitegirl.


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  1. Sam September 25th, 2012 11:15AM

    Hi Annabelle, this is so true! I remember when I was at Uni and my friend Kate had the most gorgeous boyfriend. He was handsome, well built, and at first glance had it all going on – real male model material. That is until you got to know him. After talking to him a few times he really wasn’t good looking anymore and I remember feeling so disappointed. His personality and inner being just didn’t match the exterior. That was a valuable lesson for me as I learnt that inner beauty is more important than a persons looks. My friend didn’t go out with him for long as she too was disappointed with his personality. So yes, inner happiness is very important 

    • Kitegirl October 7th, 2012 11:21AM

      You’re so right Sam. I think when some grow up knowing they are good looking they tend to rely on that to get by. And I’m sure it can get a few doors open but to draw in the longevity of true friends, a successful career etc needs something deeper. We all have it. It’s just that many don’t realise it.

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