Today I wanted to share with you a tool which you may find useful in times of stress. It’s an accumulation of things I’ve read over the years and how I summed it up to make a stress buster tool you can stow away for when you need.
Sometimes when there are things on your life plate that distract you, the stress can play havoc with your health, drag you away from a good night’s sleep and constantly keep you from what you should be paying attention to during the day. That includes people you’re dealing with, your friends and family, your work, even what you’re eating.
I’ve had plenty of these moments myself, when I grabbed a full plate of dinner and somehow it was gone 10 or 15 minutes later but I don’t remember what it tasted like. I didn’t appreciate the temperature, the smell, the textures. What a waste of effort preparing something so nice and then missing the fun bit.
Other times I have a few hours in the afternoon with my children. They come up to me and try to tell me about their day at school, show me their work, what happened at soccer practice and I’m really not there. I’m the “mm” mum, the “yes that’s interesting dear” mum. When I look at it later, it’s almost more neglectful than if I wasn’t there at all. Here I am but I’m not interested.
Sound familiar? Have you ever sat with your partner, parents, friends or someone you say you care about and then treat them this way?
So what to do about these distractions that make us miss all the fun stuff of relationships, food and such?
Have a try at this. It’s a two step process, only takes a few minutes and makes a massive difference to how you can handle time from there on afterwards.
Shut out of your mind all that is distracting you right now. I read in a yoga book some time ago (forgive me for forgetting which one) showing you can take each sound you hear and say “ah, but if I remove that sound, underneath is silence.” You can take each noise out until all you’re hearing is silence.
This reminds me of the woman trying to turn her man on. She says “You know that under this beanie, this overcoat, this cable knit woolen sweater, these Ugg boots, this pair of chord trousers, this shirt, these long johns, this underwear… I am completely naked.”
So instead of seeing a woman dressed up like Michelin man, what’s he seeing in his mind? You got it. A very different picture. It’s all in the mind. It’s all in what perspective you choose to take. (This is a theme I use a lot in my one-to-one coaching.)
Got the first step now? Peel away the layers of sound, distraction and thoughts that are worrying you. Imagine how calm things would be. How quiet, how peaceful.
Make this moment right now the perfect moment, for that is what it is. What do you have you can be grateful for?
Let me do you an example.
Right now is a perfect moment in my life.
The temperature is not too hot or cold.
The room I am in is peaceful.
It’s sunny outside and I can stand in it’s warmth and imagine it to be love.
All the clothes I wear I own. They are mine and for that I am grateful.
The radio is playing music that makes me happy.
I have been fed and have no hunger.
The air is clear for me to breath, which I do with relish.
I feel my lungs expand in different directions and empty affecting the muscles around them.
All my senses work beautifully.
The world would be very different to me if I was missing one of them.
My neighbors are at peace – I hear no disputes.
The birds are singing. They enjoy the sun and fresh air also.
My body is in good working order. (If you have some problems here, then point out all the bits that are working well.)
My hair continues to grow.
I have my own teeth.
I can smile and that in itself makes me feel better, even if there is no reason for it.
I have a car that works.
I have a computer that works.
I have an internet connection that joins me to many of my clients and followers.
I love the feeling of helping them, that is so satisfying to me.
I look forward to making something new for them learn from.
In this way I continue to learn myself, as well.
(I could go on but we’ll finish here)
I have so much to be grateful for in this perfect moment and I look forward to appreciating every other moment today.
Getting the idea?
I know another thing that reminded me of this tool is the movie “A Single Man” directed by Tom Ford. In this movie the lead character notices the smallest details. Color, smells, light, words, what things look like. It feels rather odd until you get further into the movie and understand why he is so attentive.
You don’t need an excuse to do this though. You can do it any time.
It gets you back in balance. Back in touch with yourself and who you are. You can clear your head for just a few minutes and then take on the world from a more focussed and positive perspective.
One perfect moment in time. One perfect moment in your life. The present moment. Don’t miss it. 🙂