Dangerous ideas time again. I just spotted the latest news on the sentencing from the Rolf Harris Sex Offender case here
I noticed the report mentions he committed offences which left a number of women or girls feeling “disgusting”, “worthless” and robbed of their innocence.
I haven’t sat in on any long jury driven cases such as this but pondered how often the crime is judged based on the reaction of the victims.
If, for example, you had a crime where the victim was able to recover from the trauma and get on with his/her life, would that make it less of a crime?
In my eyes the crime should be solely judged on the actions of the crime rather than the possible connotations for what follows, specifically in terms of personal mindset.
As an example of the opposite, I remember seeing a TV current affairs article on some dodgy business man who cheated many pensioners out of their money. The original con had happened some years before and I noticed the “victims” who the TV show managed to draw in to be interviewed had all recovered.
Yes, they were angry that their money had gone, some were now much poorer, but none were being the kind of victim that Television loves. The kind that slumps in their chair with lines of stress and anger etched into their face from years of dwelling on the crime, tears pouring down their face at how their life was “ruined” because of this mistake in trusting the conman.
In this case they were all shrugging and admitting it was a bad business decision. Hardly great drama.
So, how often do court cases rely on that drama from the victim to get a big penalty?
I expect, in this era of litigation, quite a lot.
Another example is the young man who sued the Life Saving club for not warning him of a sand bank that he hit while diving into the surf. This resulted in him now being in a wheel chair. Once he had succeeded in that case, his mother then sued the Life Saving Club for Stress and won that as well.
For the young man I am unsure how responsible a Voluntary Life Saving Club should be in knowing the constantly moving sandbanks under the water but I am very clear in my mind that a mother’s reaction to whatever happened to her son is solely up to her.
When will we take responsibility for our own reactions?
Of course, it is traumatic. It is stressful. There is grief, pain, fear and much self judgement in wondering how we got ourselves into this mess. But, how we live our lives from that point forward has nothing to do with the offender.
We have a choice in being the victim for however many years forward – some people choose to blame and be the victim for the rest of their lives – or, we have a choice to find a way to set aside this “unusual” spike in the timeline of life, isolate it and recover.
What are you blaming from years before that you could isolate and set aside today?
How beautiful it is to be able to do that and get all your power back to live life to the fullest again?
When you are able to do this (use a certified Life Coach if you need help with this) you will be amazed how dramatically life can turn around to being in your favour again.
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