It is common knowledge that, as a coach, we often draw to us clients which have similar problems to solve as ourselves. Maybe it’s simple Law of Attraction. Or maybe it’s the only way to we get to solve our own problems. By setting our own agenda aside and removing all judgement, we offer pure coaching to the client in order to help them find their own solution and learn for ourselves or future clients at the same time. It’s a fascinating dance.
One thing I noticed a few times amongst my clients was this previously inconsolable complaint that no matter how hard they tried, no matter what great things they achieved, they never felt good enough. They would slave away becoming a workaholic or overachiever and yet, never be satisfied that they could attain their goals.
This, I can be vulnerable enough to say, has been my own problem as well. And, I may blame a parent lacking in affection or encouragement or I may blame whatever I like but, the only way to solve it is to find exactly where I stand right now and find where I’d prefer to stand instead. It’s that simple. No blame. Just move forward.
Here is a transcript of part of a session I had with Mercredan when this topic came up for discussion. I was learning how both fears AND desires can keep us from getting what we want. I can post more of this discussion about the fears and desires another time if you are interested. For now we’ll just look at the “good enough is not enough” belief.
See if it makes as much a difference to you as it did to me.
A = me
M = Mercredan, a higher voice channelled by Francis Evans.
M: Fears are what you most resist coming into being. So the energy to push them away – and often such fears are not recognized, not well understood – they are simply generalized. One fears being exposed. One fears not being good enough. There are many. You understand?
M: Whereas if one’s attention is on the reality as it stands one recognizes “these are fears that I hold”. You understand? “I have my inventory in front of me. These are fears that I hold and if they are manifesting, it is because I am manifesting them.” Does that follow?
A: So once I have my inventory of fears, do I need to learn to just accept them? So if I took the fear of not being good enough that I just say “Well that’s just there.” Is that all I do with it?
M: That is the point. The point is it is not any more true than anything else that one manifests. You understand? So one can take a different perspective on a creation as one does on a reality, on a conviction. You understand? That you have already listed it. It is one thing that you fear, not one thing that is true.
M: One often sees oneself as not being good enough rather than seeing oneself as fearing not being good enough and working hard at being better. Do you follow what I mean?
A: And so the focus that I put on trying to be better is wasted energy?
M: Of course because it is suggesting you are not good enough!
M: The point is one thinks that one is focussing on being better but in reality one is simply trying to overcome that which already exists.
M: Whereas if one were to recognise “Ah, this is my fear. I do not have to be any better because I am already good enough. I am already as good as I can be in this very moment AND I am always looking for ways to be better.”
M: Do you understand? There is a difference of quality in those two statements.
A: Yes, I completely understand.
M: And then, one can trust oneself. “I am no longer doubting myself. I am no longer having to look at and check everything that I do to see whether it is good enough because I already know and trust myself that I am doing the best I can.”
M: In the moment, always improving. Always getting better. Always adding more skills, more as you learn. Of course, you understand. Then one is simply working in the most prime position. The most prime way for manifesting this.
Leave your comments below. Does this make a difference for you?