04 Jan 2014

Good advice

04 Jan 2014

Making a decision, help with problem solvingEvery man and his dog is willing to give you advice and some people appear to be qualified to do so but how do you know what you’re getting is the best advice for you? Here’s something to think about next time someone offers advice or you ask for it.

Each of us has our own view of the world. It’s based on our experiences, knowledge, beliefs that have grown over time and our thought patterns. Each entirely personal and individual. You can even have two people go through the same experience side by side and come out the other end with an entirely different perspective from the other.

This creates a sort of a haze of thought patterns and beliefs we carry around with us. Some spiritual people see this as our aura and it changes to match our shifting moods from one moment to the next throughout the day. So if you witness something in the morning you may see it in a different light compared to after lunch when you are feeling differently. Looking out at the world through that aura – which is invisible to most of us – is what colours our perspective.

One thing is for sure. The more “baggage” you carry around with you in terms of limiting beliefs, fear based thought patterns, prejudice, rules and regulations; the cloudier your view of the world.

Keep this in mind when asking for advice. Anyone giving you advice is giving it from that perspective. They will always offer you the best advice they possibly can but if their view is clouded with baggage, the advice may not serve you well.

For example, ask a friend to give you relationship advice and it is very rare for them to be able to give it to you from a totally neutral standpoint.

“Don’t trust them! What happened to me in the same situation was…”

“Dump them. They are not what you’re looking for.”

“Give them a little but if you treat them mean you’ll keep them keen.”

“Yep I had that problem too and it really pressed my buttons. I’ll never put myself through that again!”

Great examples in my life of being drowned in advice from others was when I was pregnant – every one wants to tell you their worst stories – and being a blonde considering buying a new car. Holy cow! Everyone is the expert. Too much information!

Moral of the story? Take all advice with a grain of salt. Watch the person as they give you their advice. If relating their story is screwing them up inside and making them really negative, they’ll be giving you a fear based answer.

No matter how expert they appear to be, look at them deeply and listen to your gut instinct. Is this person really happy? Are they giving off the vibe that I want to give off? Are they being what I want to be?

Even successful “experts” can come up through the path of hard knocks and believe there is no other path to get to success. Keep your mind open and always remember, their advice is the perspective of only one person in one particular mood.

To avoid advice altogether, consider using a COACH. That’s right. A coach is taught to ask you the right questions and reshape your perspective so you can find your own solutions which are 100 times more suited to you than anybody else’s.

Read more about using Kitegirl as your personal Coach.

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